First Date Questions: To Ask Before Dating

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Curious for ideas on what are good Questions To Ask Before Dating?

If you are reading this, your first date may be around the corner. Or you have been chatting with a new interest for a while and consider giving dating a go.

In any case, you might be wondering what questions you should ask before dating. We are here to help you with just that!

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What better way to get to know your potential partner than by asking about them? Most people enjoy talking about themselves and feel good in the company of great listeners. 

These questions to ask before dating will help you determine whether your date is a good match. Also, establish a deeper connection and feelings of intimacy or even pivot those awkward silences.  

Maybe it is not wise to cut straight to the chase and go deep and personal from the beginning. That is why we begin with more generic and surface-level dating questions and then get down and dirty with proposals for more meaningful conversation. 

Hobbies, Habits, and Preferences

These dating questions might seem like idle chit-chat but are very methodically constructed (ha!) to provide you with a ton of information.

  • What does your everyday life usually look like?

This is a clever replacement for “How are you?” since most of us are wired to smile and reply, “Fine, thank you.” Also, according to Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral investigator, and best-selling author, this dating question will help you learn a lot more about their everyday habits and their work.

  • What do you do to relax from a stressful day?

This is a broad date question that can initiate a great conversation. They can bring up their hobbies, favorite activities, or friends. Also, you can understand whether your date gets easily stressed and how well they can deal with negative emotions. 

  • What is your favorite place to hang out?

It makes sense to take your date to a place you love and feel comfortable in. But many of us suggest meeting locations based on what we think the other person would like. Guilty? Ask what their go-to café or restaurant is, or where they enjoy spending time with loved ones to have an insight into their tastes and preferences.

  • What does your dream vacation look like?

This fun date question will help you determine if they are adventurous or enjoy the comfort. This is a must question to ask before dating because it comes with a great bonus. A study by Professor Richard Wiseman has concluded that 18% of participants who talked about travel on their first date also went on a second one.

  • What are the things that bug you the most?

Pet peeves. We all have some. Your date does too. It is a great opportunity to find out if they are generally unbothered or get irritated easily. Learning about the behaviors or things that get on their nerves can also prove quite useful.

Ambitions, Family, and Friends

After these first ice-breakers, it’s time to dive into a more personal level of questions to ask your date. Of course, always assess whether they are in the mood for sharing.

  • What is the person you would like to become in 5 years like?

This is a more conversational equivalent of the “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” that is a must in job interviews. This unique date question encourages the other person to share their ambitions and future dreams. But also, you will get to learn about the personality characteristics they would like to develop.

  • What does your dream day look like?

An ideal day is usually a day filled with the things we enjoy doing the most. Thus, you will get to learn the things that spark joy for your date and reap the benefits of a light-hearted atmosphere. 

  • What have you dreamed of for a long time but haven’t done it? Why?

You are aiming to know about your date’s deepest desire. But this dating question is a goldmine for another reason. The things that have kept them from realizing their dreams will also give you an idea about their fears, insecurities, and inhibitions.

  • What is your most treasured family memory?

Before dropping this one, ask them if they are comfortable sharing about their family. If you get the green light, dive right in. Recalling a happy memory will bring up positive emotions. And it is a great way to learn about their family background without making it look like an interview.

  • What is friendship to you?

This might seem an odd question to ask on a date, but friends are a big part of one’s life. This question will give you another way to learn more about the significant people surrounding them.

Character, Values, and Relationships (not exes!)

Alright! You have made it to the next level of personal date questions! You may have heard the advice to steer clear of touchy topics. But in the end, it is this nitty-gritty information that will help you determine whether you two are a match made in heaven.

  • What is your most noteworthy personality flaw?

Apart from getting the actual answer, you will understand their opinion about themselves and how well they can self-evaluate. Also, a bonus and fun date question: “What do people misunderstand most often about you?”

  • What are the ideals you live by?

Ask them about their take on religion and their opinion on several social issues. Now, you might be thinking that this is a terrible question to ask on a date. Keep in mind that no matter how great your chemistry is, if your values clash, you will not be able to maintain a long-term relationship.

  • What do you value most about a partner?

What are the things they appreciate in a significant other or a relationship? Sometimes the wisest questions to ask before dating are the ones about dating. You are asking what their expectations from you are. Again, this is a major clue for your compatibility.

  • What is a relationship deal breaker for you?

Things that are out of the question for you might not be for them, and vice versa. It is better to be aware of their limits, before taking things to the next level.

  • What is your way of expressing your emotions to your partner?

Their way of communicating their feelings will give away how expressive they are and how much they value emotional sharing. Make sure to also learn about their Love Language. 

There are countless other things you could ask your date. Just think about what it is that you want to know about them. Only make sure to pose all your questions in a non-judgmental way and create a safe space for your date to open up. 

Also, keep in mind that your night out is not an interview but an interaction that flows both ways. You should also be prepared to answer their questions in return. The good news is that sharing personal information on a first date can speed up the building of intimacy, according to psychology professor Arthur Aron.

Remember! The most important thing is that you have fun. Good luck!

Sara, a seasoned expert in wedding planning and date ideas, brings a wealth of experience to our couples blog. With a background in the television industry and hands-on involvement in a dozen weddings, including working as a wedding assistant on "My Fair Wedding with David Tutera," Sara has an innate understanding of the magic that makes weddings truly special. Growing up with four sisters has given her unique insights into the dating world, making her a go-to source for practical and heartfelt dating advice. Her knowledge and enthusiasm make her the perfect guide for couples seeking to infuse their relationships with creativity and love.

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