Questions To Ask Your Spouse

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Looking for some questions to ask your spouse?

It doesn’t matter how long you and your partner have been together, communication is essential to your relationship. And these couples question games can help.

Sure, you might ask each other questions like, “how was your day?”, and “what’s the weather tomorrow?”, but if you want to keep your relationship strong and stand the test of time, it’s important that you continue to get deeper. 

image reads "questions to ask your spouse" with couple smiling at each other wearing robes.

Now you might be thinking, “I’ve been with my spouse forever!” – there is nothing left to talk about!

But there is always something to talk about. As people, we’re always evolving.

That means that there’s always something new to learn about your partner.

So whether it be casual conversation or deeper, late night chats, we should always make time to get to know our partner better. 

Questions to Ask Your Spouse

Why Is Communication Key?

You’ve probably heard it before – communication is key to any relationship. But why is it so important?

It’s probably no surprise that communication is necessary to get to know each other. 

When you first meet someone, you spend a lot of time talking about your past, what you want for the future, your likes, your dislikes, and so on and so forth.

We bet you’ve probably pulled all nighter talking to someone in a new relationship before. But how often do you spend all night talking to your long term partner?

You might already know your partner pretty well, but there’s always new things to learn.

Not only that, but communication helps you to avoid misunderstandings, set clear boundaries in your relationship, and build a foundation that will keep you strong when disagreements or problems arise. 

But what is there to talk about? We’ve established 101 questions to ask your spouse – from basic and conversational questions to questions that connect you on a deeper level. So here we go!

Questions to Ask Your Husband / Wife:

  1. How did your mom and dad meet?
  2. What attributes of your parents do you see in yourself?
  3. Are there any attributes of your parents that you don’t want to take on?
  4. Would you rather be rich or famous?
  5. If you could live one day of your life over and over, what day would it be?
  6. Were you ever sent to the principal’s office when you were young?
  7. Is there anything I do that drives you crazy?
  8. Which couple friends of ours do you most admire? Why?
  9. Are there any projects that we can work on together?
  10. If you could afford to buy anything you wanted right now, what would you buy?

  1. What are 5 things that you are most grateful for?
  2. What was your favorite toy as a child?
  3. What’s the most boring thing that someone could do?
  4. What do you think is the worst job in the world?
  5. What’s your favorite family tradition?
  6. Are there any traditions that we don’t do that you would like to do?
  7. If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  8. If you could relive one day of your childhood what would it be?
  9. Who in your childhood had the biggest influence on you?
  10. Who was your favorite teacher in school? Did you ever have a crush on a teacher?

  1. Is there anything I do that grosses you out?
  2. What was the last thing you cried over?
  3. Are there any dreams or nightmares that you remember as a child?
  4. What’s your biggest regret?
  5. Have I ever given you a present that you secretly hated?
  6. If we had $1, 000, 000 right now, what would we do with it?
  7. If we were to donate to a charity, what charity would we donate to?
  8. If you could go back to any period in time, where would you go? Why?
  9. Do you think men and women love differently?
  10. Do you think it’s ever acceptable to keep a secret from me?

  1. What do you think is the most important thing in a marriage?
  2. What advice would you give to your younger self?
  3. What memory of us always makes you laugh?
  4. If we could go anywhere right now, where would you want to go?
  5. What’s your favorite date we’ve ever been on?
  6. What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
  7. Would you rather have more time or more money?
  8. If you could invite any 3 people in the world over for dinner, who would you invite?
  9. What do you think is your biggest strength?
  10. What do you think is your biggest weakness?

  1. What does the word romance mean to you?
  2. What’s the first concert you ever went to?
  3. Who is the craziest person you’ve ever met?
  4. What do you think about when you’re by yourself?
  5. What do you think about when you’re laying in bed at night?
  6. Is there anything you are embarrassed to admit you like?
  7. If you could rewrite any law, what law would you change?
  8. What makes you feel alive?
  9. Are you happy with the way we divide household chores?
  10. Are there any chores you might want to swap?

Deep Questions to Ask Your Spouse:

  1. If you had to describe me in 3 words, how would you describe me?
  2. Do you think that I am a positive or negative person?
  3. Do you think that there are any weak spots in our relationship right now?
  4. What is the glue that holds our relationship together?
  5. Who do you think is the most dominant in our relationship?
  6. What’s your biggest fear?
  7. How do you feel we parent together as a couple?
  8. What do you want our retirement to look like? How can we ensure that happens?
  9. Do our goals and values still align?
  10. Do we have fun together?

  1. Is there anything you pretend to like just for me?
  2. Do you have any regrets in our relationship?
  3. Is there anything as a parent that you wish I did differently?
  4. Is there anything in our relationship that you would like to see change?
  5. Is there anything that I’ve been doing lately that really makes you feel seen?
  6. Is there anything I’ve been doing lately that has made you upset or sad?
  7. What is your love language? How can I better meet your love language needs?
  8. What feature about yourself are you the most insecure about?
  9. Are there any features about me that I hate but you love?
  10. Is there anything that we used to do (but don’t anymore) that you would like to start doing again?

  1. What things about our life/relationship make you happiest?
  2. What would you like to see change in our relationship?
  3. How do you feel about our intimate life?
  4. Is there any way we could spice up our intimate life?
  5. Is there anything you would like to try in the bedroom?
  6. Do you feel like there is enough romance in our relationship?
  7. Do you feel like we do a good job of prioritizing our relationship?
  8. Is there anything we can do to better prioritize our relationship?
  9. Is there anything you’d like to do together that we’ve never done before?
  10. Do you feel like I do a good job of listening to you?

  1. Do you feel like I communicate well to you?
  2. Do you ever feel like you have to guess how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking?
  3. Is there anything you want to discuss but have been hesitant to bring up?
  4. Have your feelings for me changed since we first started dating? How?
  5. How do you think you’ve grown as a person since we’ve been together?
  6. Do you feel like I’ve grown as a person since we’ve been together?
  7. Is there anything you’d like to see me work on?
  8. What do you think happens after death?
  9. If something happens to you, how would you want me to handle that? (A horrible but necessary topic for married couples)
  10. We have kids. Do we need to start talking about life insurance? (Another horrible but necessary conversation for parents).

  1. If something were to happen to both of us, who would we want to raise our children?
  2. How do you think people perceive you?
  3. How do you think people perceive me?
  4. How do you think I perceive you?
  5. Are there any needs in our relationship that are not being met?
  6. When you talk to others about me, what do you say?
  7. Is there anything you are ashamed of? Why?
  8. Is there anything I do in our relationship that makes you feel secure?
  9. Is there anything I do in our relationship that makes you feel insecure?
  10. Are you going through any struggles? How can I help you get through them?
  11. What do I mean to you?

No matter how long you’ve been together, always make time to talk to your partner. It’s what will hold you together through the tough times. 

Sara, a seasoned expert in wedding planning and date ideas, brings a wealth of experience to our couples blog. With a background in the television industry and hands-on involvement in a dozen weddings, including working as a wedding assistant on "My Fair Wedding with David Tutera," Sara has an innate understanding of the magic that makes weddings truly special. Growing up with four sisters has given her unique insights into the dating world, making her a go-to source for practical and heartfelt dating advice. Her knowledge and enthusiasm make her the perfect guide for couples seeking to infuse their relationships with creativity and love.

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