What to do after getting engaged
After you get engaged, it’s pretty much a guarantee people will start asking you questions about the wedding. The very same day of my super sneaky surprise proposal, B and I were asked, when…where…and what kind of wedding we were going to have...and we only announced to our immediate families!
I had always told myself that when I get engaged, I wanted to savor the moment for a little and not jump right into planning. So, I purposefully kept the proposal between us and our immediate family for a few days, just to relish in the beautiful moment. It was nice to enjoy the next few days as a newly engaged couple. But after a few days, and the official announcement…(thank you Facebook!), the questions came flooding in…and I got caught up in all the madness.
Here was our Facebook Announcement...
What to do when the questions keep coming. ..
The “when” was the hardest thing for me to come up with. Before we got engaged, I had always thought a year would be the perfect amount of time to plan an awesome wedding. And then B wanted a shorter engagement. But then life happens, and sometimes things may not be quite how you pictured them to be.
I started to try and rush planning a wedding in 6 months…which is totally do-able, but B and I were heading on our Around the World trip, and by the time we got back, it would have only been 3 months to plan. Doing it this way, I would probably be sacrificing a lot…maybe I couldn’t get the dress I wanted, or the venue…I might have to sacrifice the season we’d want to get married, or even our trip we were about to go on. After a few talks with my new fiancé, we decided to wait until next year, and I was instantly relieved. I got so caught up in the questions and excitement, and wanting to please everyone, and give them answers as soon as I could. But I was actually pretty sad that I would be giving up my new “fiancé” title so soon, and I wanted to wear my engagement ring all by itself for a little longer. If we waited a year, I could have everything I want, and get to enjoy the “bride-to-be” phase for a while.
Plus, after we got back from our trip, we would both be looking for jobs, trying to find a place to live and settle down in a new (to him) state. A wedding, cross-country move, and new careers, all starting at the same time would drive us both crazy. So, as much as I want to marry B…like yesterday…we’re going to enjoy being engaged and give us some peace.
Our best advice would be… as excited as you are, and as much as people are pushing you for answers, make sure to do what’s best for the two of you. Yes, people need to know when the wedding is going to be a bit ahead of time, especially if they are traveling out of state, or in some of our cases, out of the country…and yes, they will need to know where, so they can book a place, get the time off, and save for the travel expenses. But, it doesn’t have to be right now…right after you got a ring on your finger. Relax, stay in the moment, and enjoy your new step.
Here’s our list of what to do when you first get engaged.
1. Enjoy the time with your fiancé.
Congratulations! You’re engaged! This is such an exciting time in your life, and it’s a huge step. You’ve found the love of your life, and you’re ready to spend forever together. First things first…before you jump into wedding planning mode…take some time together and just enjoy your new status. Going from girlfriend to fiancé, is a big deal. You two should take some alone time to celebrate and not start worrying about your wedding just yet. You are marrying your fiancé for the rest of your life. The wedding is just one day. Be sure to prioritize each other over planning. Go celebrate! Wedding planning is about to take up a good chunk of your time, be sure to keep each other first during all the craziness, starting now. If you don’t already have a set date night each week, start one. If you do…keep it up, don’t skip. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or cost you money either. Check out some of our fun date ideas here.
You’re a bride-to-be now, and it’s time to celebrate. Whether it’s getting your best girl friends together for a girls night out, having an engagement party, or heading off on a trip with your fiancé, be sure to take this time to celebrate this new season of your life. One of the first things I did, was order some Bridal Subscription Boxes, and got some awesome bride/ bride-to-be swag. You may only have a short window before your wedding, if you’re planning it soon, or you may have lots of time to celebrate. Whatever the case, be sure to hit 1 and 2 before jumping in to the craziness.
3. Figure out your must’s
This conversation has to come up sometime, and I think the sooner, the better…(after step 1 and 2 of course). Figuring our your must’s will help alleviate some stress throughout the whole wedding planning process. Some musts may include- are you even going to have a wedding/reception…or are you going to elope…a time frame of when you want to get married (you don’t need to set a specific date)…are there things in your life that you want/need to do before you get married? Remember, musts are not details. If you both want to get married before a big move in 6 months, that’s important to figure out. B and I decided to wait until next year to have our wedding and that’s just because that is what is best for us. Be sure to sit down with your fiancé and openly talk about what you want/need for the next step. It will save you lots of frustration coming up.
4. Gather your girls!
This is one of my favs! To a lot of people, Bridesmaids will be the closest girls to you in your life. They’re the girls who will be with you through all the wedding planning, the parties, and standing up with you as you marry the love of your life. For me, that’s my 4 sisters. I could never imagine getting married without them by my side. Today’s trend is to ask your bridesmaids/Maid of Honor with a gift, a card, or a bridesmaid proposal box. This was such a fun thing for me to do, as I get to give my girls something special before they agree to be by my side the whole time. You can see some of my favs here.
5. Prepare for Wedding Planning Takeoff
Now that you’ve done your celebrating, you’ve enjoyed your quality time with your man, you know what your musts are, and you have your closest girls…it’s time to start the Wedding Planning! Remember to relax, breathe, and enjoy this time. Too many brides say it’s the most stressful thing, but try to remember that this day is about you and your husband-to-be, and at the end of it all, you get to marry him!
All proposal photo credit to Taylor Mickal who did a wonderful job capturing our Surprise Proposal!
Stay tuned for our Wedding Planning Check List coming soon!