Working on communication with your partner is a life-long exercise. There will be periods of time in relationships where communication flows easily, is positive and results in being on the same page with respect to important issues, but sometimes it can be quite the opposite. These communication exercises for couples can help, and can even be done on date night!
Communication in a relationship is said by many to be one of the main reasons for relationships to thrive or decline (in the event that there is little communication or a miscommunication).
Seeing as communication is key to any fruitful relationship, it baffles that the majority of us are quite bad at nurturing this skill with each other.
Poor communication can now be a thing of the past with these simple communication exercises specifically for couples. Watch how your relationship goes to the next level by implementing these simple exercises on a regular basis. After all, consistency is key on all such matters!
Simple Communication Exercises for Couples
1. Eat Dinner at Your Table
Having come to an end of a busy day, it’s only natural to want to place yourself in front of the television and zone out.
Many couples today eat their dinner together on the couch while binge-watching some favorites on Netflix. While some would say that they are technically spending time together, it can be argued that it’s not quality time as it doesn’t afford communication required.
Next time you serve up dinner, have your table already prepped for enjoying your meal together where there are no other distractions and capitalize on the opportunity to ask how your partner’s day was, whether there were any challenges that s/he may want to share with you or any achievements to celebrate.
If eating at the table is a foreign concept or you’ve gotten out of the habit, start designating certain days of the week to eat there so that the change doesn’t feel completely drastic and unrealistic to sustain. Who knows, you may both enjoy it so much that you decide to eat there every night!
2. Schedule a Date Night of Conversation Starters
You may have quite a few ideas already of what to do for your upcoming date night, but if the conversation doesn’t come as easily as you’d hoped for then plan an evening together at home where you get to ask each other a list of meaningful questions.
This will help you both to practice the art of listening as well as to express yourselves as individuals as well as a couple. You may even get to learn new things about your partner which you wouldn’t have had you not asked.
3. Setting Communication Rules
Having some communication rules in place with your partner can be extremely beneficial. These could include:
- Giving your partner a head’s up that you are about to speak to them about something important which requires their full attention and focus. This allows your partner to set anything aside and concentrate on what you are saying or to provide them with an opportunity to inform you that they cannot give you their full attention at this time and then schedule the soonest available time with you.
- Agreeing not to raise voices or yell during frustrating or heated conversations. This rule also goes hand-in-hand with refraining from speaking over each other.
- Confirming your understanding of what your partner has said by asking him/her to confirm that your understanding is, in fact, correct and hasn’t potentially been misunderstood.
- Adjusting your communication style to your partner’s communication style. Believe it or not but there are different communication styles which include: analytical, intuitive, functional and personal. When you know your partner’s communication style, you can speak their language and communicate more effectively with him/her.
4. Take Turns Talking About Something That Excites You – And Listen To The Other Person
We’re all very different as we have different passions, interests and hobbies. But just because you can’t relate to what your spouse is talking about, doesn’t mean you can’t put your full focus in and listen to their excitement.
Couples can have very different interests, but it’s important to be there for the other to talk about something they love.
Take this time to sit down together and let the other discuss a topic they love. Listen to what they have to say, ask questions so you understand, and make them see you are genuinely interested in what they have to say. Then, it’s your turn.
5. Set Aside Time For Major Conversations
One thing we learned very early on in our relationship was that we have very different communication styles. I come from a family with 6 girls, so we like to talk…about everything! And when we’re talking, it’s just talking, not necessarily trying to solve things.
When I talked to my husband about an important topic, I was ready to just chat about it, brainstorm and start thinking of an idea to solve the question or problem at hand. He’s a bit different. He wants to sit down and hash out the problem and walk away with a resolution.
Setting a specific time in the future to talk about whatever conversation you have to have, gives each person some time to think of things on their own, and be able to come to the table to discuss the topic at hand.
This is also great because each of you will be ready for the conversation and it won’t be something that is just sprung upon the other when they aren’t in the right headspace to discuss whatever the topic is.
We learned to set a time for us to sit down and have a conversation we needed to have together… (whether that be where we wanted to go on our honeymoon, or if we are ready to buy a house…it could be anything that needs to have a decision or resolution made).
6. Share Your Highs and Lows of The Day
A great way to connect after each day is to discuss you highs and lows of your day.
You can do this at dinner or when you are going to bed. Each of you can talk about the high (best part of your day) and the low (worst part of your day) of your day.
This helps each of you still feel a part of each day and know what the other’s day was like.
7. Once A Week, Have A Date Night And Dedicate 30 Minutes To Talk
Date nights are so important in relationships, but even more important is how you connect during your date night.
No matter what you are doing for your date, be sure to dedicate some time to just talk together. No phone, no distractions, just the two of you giving each other your full attention.
These conversations don’t have to be heavy and they don’t have to be about work or house stuff all the time.
You get to choose what you talk about, but keeping open communication with each other is a vital part of any relationship.
8. Once A Month, Have A Relationship Check Up
This is probably one of the most important things we do to communicate with one another. At the end of each month, have a check up together.
During this time, you can talk about things that may have bothered you throughout the month that the other did, something that you didn’t like that they said, or anything that you would like to see change in your relationship.
Doing a relationship check up every month will help keep all your problems small and not let them all build up and turn into a huge fight in a few months from now.
This is the time to get really honest and open with each other and share what is bothering you, or something you’d like to change.
Bring up any annoyances, hurts, or stresses you are having in your relationship.
Of course each couple is different, so you might want to do this every week, or every other month.
The important thing here is to not let anger, annoyances, and hurts build up to where you explode later.
Clear the air with each other as often as you need, and be sure to always open up and discuss how you are feeling.
Of course if something is bothering you, we don’t recommend waiting until a monthly check up either. This is more for the things you aren’t even sure why they bother you, but it’s a safe space to bring it up.
These simple communication exercises for couples will help make you feel closer and more understood. Communication is key in any relationship, and these exercises can help your relationship flourish.