Questions To Ask Your Fiancé

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Looking for Questions To Ask Your Fiancé? (Part of our questions for couples series.)

Congratulations! Getting engaged is a huge thing! By now, you probably know each other pretty well.

You know each other’s likes and dislikes, how each other handle problems, what each other’s families are like, and so on and so forth.

And if you’re engaged, we’re guessing you like what you see! But marriage brings on a whole other set of obstacles and hurdles that you probably haven’t faced yet. 

image reads "questions to ask your fiance" and shows a couple holding hands with an engagement ring.

So before you tie the knot, it’s important that you and your fiancé sit down with one another and discuss what the future of marriage looks like for you.

Questions To Ask Your Fiancé

Here are 75 questions that you and your fiancé should discuss before your big day:

Questions Related to Starting a Family

  1. Do you want to have children?
  2. How many children would you like to have?
  3. When would you like to start trying for children?
  4. How would you feel if we couldn’t have children naturally? What methods would you be willing to try?
  5. How would you feel if I changed my mind about having children?

  1. How would we divide parental roles?
  2. Would one of us stay home or would we both work?
  3. Who would stay home and who would continue working?
  4. How will we discipline our children? Are there any forms of punishment that we are against?
  5. Where would we want to raise our children?

  1. Where do we want to send them to school?
  2. Would we send them to daycare? Get a nanny? Or send them to our parents?
  3. What core values do you want to instill in our children? How will we do that?
  4. How would we handle it if our child had a disability?
  5. How will we spend the holidays with our children?

Questions Related to Your Relationship

Have a relationship check in every month too!

  1. How are you feeling about our relationship right now?
  2. Are there any areas of our relationship that we need to improve on?
  3. What can we do to ensure that we make time for each other every week?
  4. What are the best aspects of our relationship? How can we keep them strong?
  5. Is there anything that I can do to reduce your stress load?

  1. What makes you feel most connected to me?
  2. Is there anything that I’ve been holding you back from?
  3. Do you feel like I’m holding my weight in this relationship?
  4. Do you feel like our roles are well divided? Is there anything you’d like to change?
  5. What do I do that makes you feel loved? What can I do to make you feel more loved?

  1. What does commitment look like to you?
  2. Is there anything within a marriage that would lead you to divorce?
  3. How can we incorporate more romance into our relationship?
  4. Is there anything you’d like me to change or give up after marriage?
  5. How do you define infidelity? At what point are you crossing a line?

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Questions About Finances

  1. How will we divide finances once we are married?
  2. Will we share a bank account?
  3. Is a prenup something we are considering? 
  4. How much debt do you have? 
  5. How will we pay off our debt?

  1. What are we going to do to save money?
  2. What will our budget look like?
  3. Do you have any other financial obligations I should know about?
  4. How will we divide bill payments?
  5. What are our 5 year financial goals?

  1. Are you going to stay in your current career or do you want to upgrade to something that pays more?
  2. At what age do we hope to retire? How can we make that happen?
  3. Do we promise to converse with each other before making any large financial commitments or purchases?
  4. Are there any expenses that we can cut down on?
  5. How much should we save for emergencies?

RELATED: Questions To Ask Married Couples
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Questions About Communication

  1. Do you feel like we communicate well?
  2. Do you feel like we communicate well during arguments?
  3. Is there any aspect of our communication that you think we could improve on?
  4. How would you like me to handle arguments differently?
  5. What would you like to see me change about myself that would better our relationship?

  1. Are you okay with the way that I speak to you?
  2. How has your parents’ relationship affected the way that you speak to me?
  3. Is there anything that you’re uncomfortable discussing with me? And why?
  4. Do you think that I’m a good listener?
  5. Are there any concerns or problems in our relationship that we’ve been avoiding?

  1. Are there any aspects of our relationship where you feel alone?
  2. Where do we work really well together as a team?
  3. Do you think I take the time to really understand you?
  4. Do you feel like I respect your feelings and opinions?
  5. Do you feel valued in this relationship?

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Questions About Intimacy

  1. How often do we make love? Are you happy with that?
  2. How often would you like to do the deed?
  3. How can we improve our love life?
  4. What can we do to ensure that our intimate life doesn’t go dry?
  5. What do I do that drives you crazy in bed?

  1. Is there anything that you would like to try in the bedroom?
  2. Are you comfortable telling me your desires?
  3. Do you feel like we have enough passion in our relationship?
  4. What can we do to keep the passion alive?
  5. What is your biggest turn on?

  1. Is there anything I do that really turns you off?
  2. Is there anything that’s a hard no in the bedroom?
  3. What us one thing I can do to make you want to make love?
  4. What are our strengths when it comes to intimacy?
  5. What are our weaknesses?

Of course, these are just a few of the many questions that you should ask your fiancé before marriage. The two of you are about to make a huge lifestyle change and commitment, so it’s important that you are both on the same page in all aspects of your marriage.

The only way you can do that is through proper communication and making the time to discuss questions like the ones above. 

Take some time to get deep – and congratulations again!

Sara, a seasoned expert in wedding planning and date ideas, brings a wealth of experience to our couples blog. With a background in the television industry and hands-on involvement in a dozen weddings, including working as a wedding assistant on "My Fair Wedding with David Tutera," Sara has an innate understanding of the magic that makes weddings truly special. Growing up with four sisters has given her unique insights into the dating world, making her a go-to source for practical and heartfelt dating advice. Her knowledge and enthusiasm make her the perfect guide for couples seeking to infuse their relationships with creativity and love.

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