Need help on how to be romantic? Indeed, it doesn’t take much for the honeymoon phase to fade in a relationship. And when it does, it’s not uncommon for people to start feeling under-appreciated by their partners. The goal, of course, is for this not to happen.
You can’t always live in the honeymoon stage of your relationship – that’s just a fairytale.
Feelings and emotions change over time – but your relationship doesn’t have to go stale.
With some hard work and romance, you can keep your relationship moving forward in a positive direction, and can continue to feel closer to your partner day after day.
So how do you be more romantic?
What is Romance?
In order to answer the question, “how do you be more romantic?”, we must first define what romance is.
To be honest, we did our research to find a simple definition of romance but there isn’t one.
Romance isn’t one specific thing.
Rather, it’s several different things intertwined with one another.
Furthermore, romance can mean different things to different people. So it’s not easy to create a one size fits all definition of the word.
With that being said, here is our favorite definition that we were able to find that we feel sums it up pretty well;
“Romance is a state of connection between two people that is brought about by thoughtful sentimental gestures that mean something to one or both parties”. (Urban Dictionary)
In other words, romance can be any act that shows your partner that you are thinking about them, that you care about them, and that they are a priority to you.
It may come in the form of a love letter or a thoughtful poem, it may come in the form of a surprise gift or date, or even just in the form of making them their favorite lunch that day.
Think of romance as telling your partner you love them without really saying, “I love you” (though that, of course, is romantic too!).
What are the Characteristics of a Romantic Person?
If we want to learn how to be more romantic, we should learn the characteristics of a romantic person. Romantic partners are:
1. Interested
Romantic partners are always interested in their partner’s life. They ask their partner how their day was, talk about future plans, and show a genuine interest in things that their partner is interested in.
By understanding a partner’s interests, one can better plan date nights or do small things that would be considered romantic to their partner.
Find a couples hobby you can do together for a mutual interest.
2. Affectionate
Holding hands as you walk, giving a hug in the morning, snuggling at night – these are all acts of a romantic partner.
The simple act of touching your partner regularly lets them know that you are interested in them and that you enjoy being around them.
From your partner’s perspective, it lets them know that they are accepted and cared for.
Plus, simple acts of physical touch can lead to further physical intimacy, which is essential in a long term relationship.
3. Thoughtful
A romantic partner is one who is conscious and considerate of their partner’s needs and desires.
They listen to what their partner asks of them, and respond in a manner that is mindful to that.
Sometimes your partner may, for example, consider it romantic to spend some quality time on a date night together.
Other times simply helping them tidy the kitchen when they are under a lot of stress could be considered romantic.
The more you listen to the needs of your partner, the more thoughtful and romantic things you can do for them.
4. Action-based
It’s one thing to say, “let’s go on a nice date next week”, and an entirely other thing to actually plan a romantic date.
You don’t have to spend a fortune to be romantic.
Plan an at home picnic, give your partner a candlelit massage, take them for a surprise ice cream date.
Romance isn’t about spending money, it’s about going above and beyond the norm for your partner.
Plan something, make the time, and enjoy each other’s company – that’s all there is to it!
5. Sentimental
Romantic people have no problem sharing their emotions with their partner. Communication is romantic.
Let us say that again – Communication is romantic.
Don’t be afraid to let your partner know how you feel each and every day.
“I love you. You are beautiful. I need you. I want you. You are my sunshine”.
Words of affirmation for him and words of affirmation for her are always romantic, no matter how many times they are heard.
6. Present
Please, please, please – we cannot say this enough – When you are with your partner, be present.
Don’t be on your phone. Don’t be daydreaming. Don’t be thinking about work or tomorrow’s job.
When you’re with your partner, be 100% present with your partner. Romantic partners are present partners.
How To Be More Romantic
Okay, now that we’ve talked about the traits of a romantic person, let’s talk about some romantic things you can actually do to be more romantic:
Listen to your Partner
Listen to their needs. If they tell you the kitchen is a mess, help clean it up.
If they tell you their back is sore, give them a massage.
If they tell you they need a break, take the kids out for the afternoon.
Listen and respond.
Send texts throughout the day
If you can’t be with your partner all day, send them texts or give them a call to remind them that you are thinking of them.
They don’t have to be elaborate. A simple “I miss you” or “Can’t wait to see you” will do.
Try these:
Plan a date
What is something that your partner loves to do? Make a night and make it happen.
We have TONS of date ideas you can plan.
Plan a surprise
Surprises are romantic in themselves.
Surprise your partner with a date night.
Surprise your partner with flowers.
Or simply surprise them with a love note in their lunch.
It doesn’t matter what the surprise is, any surprise can be seen as a romantic gesture.
Write a love letter
We know, love letters are the past and texts are the present. But can we please go back?
Text messages are so impersonal!
Take the time to write your loved one a real hand-written love note.
We promise, it’ll go a lot further as an act of romance than a text message or email!
Check out how to write a love letter or how to start a love letter if you need help.
Try a “reasons why I love you jar” to share little love notes throughout the year.
If you need more ideas, we also have a 101 reasons I love my husband, and 101 reasons I love my wife, for you to get ideas from.
Connect intimately
“Let’s talk about s*x baby” (we know you sung that!). Anyways, yes, let’s talk about it.
Sometimes when life gets busy, our love life gets shoved to the side.
A quickie once in a while is great, but making love should really be about the connection that we share with our partner.
So if you’re at the stage in your relationship where you’re intimate together, take time to make it passionate and really feel that deep connection between you that made you fall in love in the first place.
Buy a gift
We don’t recommend that romance be based on gifts, but once in a while, a gift is nice to receive.
It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate (although that’s okay too). A simple pair of earrings, some flowers, or even a favorite chocolate bar will do.
Talk about your day
If you and your partner don’t get the opportunity to talk a lot, try setting aside 15-30 minutes at the end of each day to communicate with one another.
Talk about your day, talk about work, talk about your feelings towards one another, or even where you can improve on the relationship.
The more you communicate with one another, the deeper your romantic connection will be.
Want to make the conversations even more fun? We have a whole list of Couples Questions for you to try…
–Would You Rather Couples Questions
–How Well Do You Know Me Questions
–This or That Questions For Couples
–Who’s Most Likely To…Questions For Couples
Compliment your partner often
A small compliment can go a long way. Don’t be afraid to let your partner know you think they are amazing. Compliments never go out of style!
Here are some articles that can help:
–Describing words for someone you love
–Cute notes for your boyfriend
–Pet name ideas for your partner
Make time
The more important thing that you can do in being more romantic is to just make the time to show your partner they are a priority.
If you can make them feel special, you’ve done your job in the romance sector!
How To Be More Romantic To Your Wife (or girlfriend)
We have a whole article about romantic things to do for your wife, but here are some practical ways you can be more romantic:
- Surprise her with flowers- Bring home her favorite flowers for no reason at all, it’s a simple gesture that can make her day.
- Plan a romantic getaway- Surprise her with a weekend trip or vacation to a romantic destination. Or even do a romantic couples staycation if you can’t leave town.
- Write her a love letter -Take the time to write her a heartfelt love letter expressing your feelings and appreciation for her.
- Learn her love language- Take the time to learn your wife’s love language and make an effort to show your love in ways that resonate with her. This could mean expressing your love with words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, or physical touch. Do this 30 days of love challenge together.
- Cook her a special dinner -Plan and prepare her favorite meal at home, complete with candles and music.
- Take her on a romantic date -Plan a fun date night, like a candlelit dinner, stargazing, or a moonlit walk.
- Show her affection- Show her physical affection, like holding her hand, giving her a hug or kiss for no reason, or cuddling together.
- Do something thoughtful- Surprise her by doing something thoughtful, like running a bath for her, doing the dishes or laundry, or helping her with a task she has been putting off.
- Give her a massage- Take the time to give her a relaxing massage, using candles and aromatherapy to set the mood.
- Listen to her- Take the time to listen to her and show genuine interest in what she has to say.
- Take an interest in her hobbies- Show interest in her hobbies and join her in activities she enjoys, like gardening, cooking, or crafting.
- Create a romantic atmosphere- Create a romantic atmosphere at home by dimming the lights, lighting candles, and playing soft music.
- Surprise her with a thoughtful gift -Surprise her with a thoughtful gift, like a piece of jewelry or a book she’s been wanting to read.
- Plan a surprise date- Plan a surprise date night or outing, like a picnic in the park or a visit to a museum.
- Take care of her- Show your love and appreciation by taking care of her when she’s sick or tired, by making her a warm cup of tea or giving her a foot massage.
- Express your love -Tell her how much you love her every day, and express your appreciation for all the things she does for you and your family.
Romantic Date Ideas
And finally, here’s 10 quick romantic date ideas:
- Spa date at home -Pamper yourselves with a couples’ spa day, complete with massages, facials, and relaxation time.
- Picnic in the park -Pack a basket with your favorite snacks, a bottle of wine, and a cozy blanket to sit on. Find a scenic spot in the park and enjoy a lovely afternoon together.
- Stroll along the pier at the beach -Enjoy a romantic walk along the pier, taking in the beautiful views and sea breeze.
- Watching the sunrise/sunset- Wake up early or stay up late to watch the sunrise or sunset together, it’s a beautiful and romantic experience.
- Ice cream at the beach -Take a walk on the beach and treat yourselves to some delicious ice cream while enjoying the ocean view.
- Romantic movie night -Curl up together on the couch with a cozy blanket and some popcorn while watching a romantic movie.
- Breakfast in bed -Start the day off right by surprising your partner with a delicious breakfast in bed, complete with fresh coffee and flowers.
- Dancing -Take a dance class together or simply put on some music at home and dance the night away in each other’s arms.
- Wine Tour- Go on a wine tour and explore different wineries and vineyards while sampling different wines.
- Drive-in movie– Enjoy a classic date night experience by going to a drive-in movie theater and cuddling up in the car while watching a movie.
- Stargazing date – Find a quiet place away from city lights, lay out a blanket and cuddle up under the stars. You can even bring a telescope if you have one!
- Sunset sail -Take a romantic sunset sail on a boat or yacht. Enjoy the breathtaking view of the sunset while sipping champagne and nibbling on appetizers.
- Cooking class date – Take a cooking class together and learn to make a romantic meal that you can enjoy together afterward.
- Wine tasting – Go on a wine-tasting tour at a local vineyard or winery. It’s a fun and sophisticated way to spend time together and learn about different wines.
- Candlelit dinner -Set the mood with candles, soft music, and a fancy dinner. You can cook at home or make a reservation at a fancy restaurant.
- Outdoor movie night at home -Find an outdoor movie screening, or do one in your backyard. Pack some snacks and a blanket, and snuggle up under the stars while enjoying a movie together.
- Hot air balloon ride -Take a hot air balloon ride and enjoy the spectacular view from above for a luxury date idea.
So what are you waiting for? You can make romance happen right now! Go!